Dear Sister, You’re Not Alone: Let’s Break the Shame of Debt Together
- Jul 9, 2025
- 4 min read
Let’s talk about it!!
Not the Instagram filtered, “I got this” version, but the real stuff. The missed payments. The panic when a letter lands. The quietly added Klarna basket. The secret store card you hope no one finds out about. If this is you, please hear me, you are not alone, and you are not a failure.
We’re In a Debt Crisis and Nobody Taught Us How to Handle It
Here’s a hard truth: most of us were never taught how to handle money, let alone manage debt.
No school lessons on interest rates. No breakdown of store cards versus credit cards. No guidance on the slippery slope of “just pay the minimum” thinking.
And it shows:
As of 2024, the average UK adult owes over £34,000 in total debt (excluding mortgages).
Over 9.5 million people are in serious financial difficulty (StepChange, 2024).
More than 14 million UK adults have less than £100 in savings (Money and Pensions Service, 2023).
The UK is in deep not because we’re reckless, but because many of us were simply never equipped.
Let’s Talk About the Real Reasons People End Up in Debt
It’s not just about overspending. Let’s be real:
Some are just trying to survive choosing between heating and eating.
Others are numbing emotional pain with retail therapy. Spending becomes self-soothing.
There’s pressure to keep up with the Joneses or worse, the Instagram lifestyle. All gloss, no context.
Some simply don’t understand what they’re signing up for revolving credit, minimum payments, payday loans.
And in too many of our communities, debt is a silent epidemic. We stay quiet, ashamed, and alone.
Debt is Designed to Keep You Stuck
Let me explain it how I see it.
You get offered a credit card. You don’t read the fine print (most people don’t). You’re thinking, “Ooh, I can finally buy that new car (or whatever your want is).” Then comes the bill. You’re told to pay a small amount. You think, “That’s doable.” But you do it again and again. Before you know it, you’ve paid hundreds, maybe thousands but your balance hasn't budged. That’s called revolving credit, and it’s a trap.
Now add interest, fees, and the fact that many of us are one pay cheque away from not coping, and you’ve got a recipe for burnout, breakdown, and in extreme cases bankruptcy.
And Then Comes the Shame...
Shame whispers:
“I should know better.”
“What will people think?”
“I messed up. Again.”
But here’s what I need you to hear today:
"Debt might be your situation, but it is not your identity!!"
What Happens When We Break the Silence
When one woman shares her story, ten others find courage.
I’ve seen this time and again in coaching sessions, in group chats, in prayer circles. And the most powerful thing about it?
It creates space for healing, not just strategy.
Debt doesn’t just impact your wallet it affects your mental health, your self-image, and even your relationships. That’s why this journey isn’t just financial. It’s personal. Emotional. Even spiritual.
Let’s Break the Shame. Let’s Find Freedom.
Sister, we don’t heal what we hide. And we don’t grow in silence
Here’s what freedom starts to look like:
Being honest about where you are even if it’s messy.
Learning about the systems designed to keep us trapped.
Choosing to find another way, one that aligns with your values and builds your confidence.
Knowing that borrowing for a lifestyle you can’t afford isn’t abundance, it’s avoidance.
As a Christian and a financial coach, I believe in stewardship. That means managing what you have with wisdom, not shame. And if you’ve made mistakes, welcome to the human race. We don’t cancel you. We help you rebuild.
It’s Time to Educate, Not Humiliate
Debt education shouldn’t just be for people already in trouble. We should be teaching:
The difference between loans, credit cards, and payday lenders
Why minimum payments are a trap
What it really means to “afford” something
How to build savings pots so debt isn't your first solution
Because if you don’t see debt as an option, you find better ones.
✝️ What the Bible Says About Debt
Proverbs 22:7 says, “The borrower is slave to the lender.”
It doesn’t say this to condemn it says it to caution. Debt ties your hands. It steals your peace. But God offers us wisdom and grace not shame and fear. Let’s teach our children the power of waiting, of saving, and of building wealth the right way.
An Invitation to Rise
If you’ve been hiding, shrinking, or suffering in silence,
I want you to know: it’s safe to come out of the shadows.
You’re not lazy. You’re not doomed. You’re not too far gone.
You are capable.
You are loved.
And yes, you can be financially free.
Let’s stop pretending and start healing.
Together.
👣 Next Steps: From Survival to Stewardship
Let’s walk this out practically:
Check your debt totals yes, all of them.
Build a basic budget. Use my free template.
Talk to someone. A financial adviser. A friend. Someone safe.
Explore tools like StepChange, CAP UK, or Christians Against Poverty.
And if you’re already struggling, please don’t wait until your credit is ruined and your hope is gone. There’s help. There’s grace. There’s freedom.
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